In So Many Words

Info-Comics by Larry Paros

Words for a Sexier You

Many a man has been rendered speechless by a glamorous woman. Unbeknown to him, however, what dumfounded him was only an exercise in grammar. And we're not talking sexy syntax either.

Glamour and grammar happen to be historically linked at the hip. Grammar originally spoke to the mystery of words and those with access to them. When scholars made Latin the language of the cultured few, the ability to manipulate language seemed almost magical to the illiterate masses, which were quick to accredit occult and devilish powers to those fluent in the language, its usage, and its structure, i.e. its grammar.

Over time, the "r" in grammar changed to an "l." A few other modifications and voila! From this emerged a more glamorous entity.

Glamour was new on the outside, but its inner meaning remained the same, continuing to convey the magical sense of its predecessor. Accordingly, people first knew it as a "spell," or a "charm." Over time it was expelled from the classroom and took on a life of its own, the two words going their separate ways.

Grammar has long since lost its charm for students, though it continues to magically evoke sleep in them. Glamour meanwhile continues to create an aura of mystery and exclusiveness, leaving grown men laboring to complete a coherent sentence when falling under the spell of the glamorous woman.

The moral of the story: Listen to your seventh grade English teacher. Beware of dangling participles and split infinitives. They can be killers.