Bones

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It seems that anything you say will offend somebody — sticking like a bone in their craw. All the more reason then for my making no bones about it (15thC.), “speaking frankly and without hesitation”.

Very little tickles people’s funny bone (19thC.) nowadays. It’s a nickname for the arm bone between the shoulder and the elbow, formally called the humerus. The ulnar nerve passes directly over that area, a good whack there resulting in a weird tingling sensation that’s peculiar or “funny.” That together with a pun on humerus, made for our funny bone which became our sense of humor.”

You don’t have to whack folks on it to get a laugh, just rib them a bit. Anything goes as long as it’s not done with malice. Ribbing is nothing more than good natured teasing, from either tickling a person around their ribs, causing them to break into laughter or poking them there while telling a joke. In time, our funny bone should return intact. I intuit it, or feel it in my bones (17thC.), the same way persons with arthritis have an uncanny ability to predict the onset of rain due to their special sensitivity to a drop in barometric pressure. And that is the bare bones for today.

Venus

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Venus, what’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this? Your roots are in the Norse vanir, “charming” or “graceful.” Originally you were the goddess of growth and the beauty of orderly nature. There was no native Roman Goddess of love and human passion, a role played by Aphrodite in the Greek pantheon. According to legend, Aeneas, celebrated as father of the Roman people, was her son. Hoping to legitimize their hold on power, Julius Caesar’s clan, selected Venus as Aphrodite’s Roman counterpart, arguing their descent from her.

Venus, veneris was Latin for “to desire.”  This led to venari, “to hunt,” providing us with venison. Alas, venery, the “hunt” became a sexual pursuit and the gratification of sexual desire. It also made for things having to do with lovemaking such as  venereal diseases. You would, however, regain respect. Venerare was to address to a god a request for favor or forgiveness, making those worthy of such reverence, venerable. Venus of Milo was found on island of Melos in 1820, taken by French ambassador to Turkey and eventually presented to Louis XVIII to the Louvre — an object of veneration to generations of tourists.

The Litter Box

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Being socially correct, we request the location of the facilities, the lavatory, or lav, from the Latin lavatorium, literally a “place for washing. “ Younger Americans favor the can (c.1900) or the head; possibly an editorial on how they relate to authority or from the original location of the ship’s facilities in the bulkhead. Middle aged folk ask for the washroom (c.1878), the powder-room (c.1920s) or the rest-room. Some still call for the toilet (c.1820s) from the French toilette, diminutive of toile, the cloth once covering the table on which sat one’s preparations.

The British middle class prefers the loo from lieu, “the place” or the French l’eau, “water,” making for the warning cry “Guardez l’eau, “ Mind the water!”— supposedly called out in the days before modern plumbing, when emptying chamber pots from upper-story buildings. Others suggest it is a misreading of room number 100, supposedly a common European toilet designation.The water closet dates from 1755 when it moved into the house from outside, then shortened to the W.C. (C.19). All this comes courtesy of Sir Thomas Crapper, developer of the modern toilet bowl, as per his biography, Flushed with Pride.

Boycott

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Southern Baptists threatening to stop patronizing Disney because of its policy towards Gays. So what else is new?

Back in the 19th century, Irish peasants mounted an organized campaign against the hated agent of an absentee British landlord to protest his exploitive policies. They refused to work for him,  intimidated his servants, destroyed his crops, drove away his stock, and threatened his life.

In the course of being interviewed by an American journalist, the  parish priest, thought “ostracism” an insufficient word to describe the approach, suggesting instead the name of the hated agent himself. The man who thus became identified forever with such a policy was Charles Cunningham Boycott.

Some consider a boycott of Disney to be nothing less than Mickey Mouse — “small,” “petty,” “inferior,” “trivial,” and “childish,” stemming from the mid 30s when the Ingersoll watch company marketed a watch with Mickey  on the face. It never kept the time properly and was always breaking down.

As to the boycott, it’s probably less Mickey Mouse than just plain goofy.

That Sucks!

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When it comes to politicians espousing their causes, words fail. So here’s a few: Humbug! (1825), meaning “stuff and nonsense,” with roots in the 18th century as a hoax or fraud  Hogwash! (1440), a common term for kitchen refuse, slop fed to swine. Balderdash!, a meaningless jumble of words from adulterated wine made by combining the leftovers from several cups. And for their just deserts, Applesauce! (1929), “nonsense, flattery and sweet talk” — from the common practice in boarding houses, serving an abundance of applesauce to cover up the tastelessness or paucity of the main dish. Beneath the superficial sweetness there being only mush.

It’s so much  cock and bull  (1700), as implausible as old fables in which cocks and bulls are represented as talking with each other. And  tommy-rot! (1884) —  foolish utterances from Tommy, “simpleton or  fool.” plus rot, “worthless matter.” And at the very bottom, poppycock! (1865), from the Dutch pappeka, “soft dung,” , originating with the Latin pappa, “soft food,” and cacare, “to defecate.” Thus accounting for all the pap we’re asked to swallow and all the other EXPLETIVES DELETED! 

Sequences

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It’s always fun following a word’s progression through the language. Take the Latin sequi, secut-, from which many things follow — sequels, things sequential, and those consecutive, from com, “together,” and sequi, “follow”. This not only created real consequences, things following (with them); but also made them consequential.

Sequi, “to attend” or “follow” mutated into the Old French suitte, “attendance” or “act of following.” As a sout, it was  “attendance at court,” making for the syutor (1290), a frequent visitor there, later a suter, an “adherent” or “follower” and the suitor (1586) who courts or follows after a woman. From the livery or uniform worn there came a set of clothes worn together, our first suits (1400). Making them suitable (1577) “agreeable” or “convenient,” was their appropriateness to the occasion. Other things suitable included a suit of cards and a grouping of rooms following in close proximity, the  suite. Following things legally into the courts made for both legal suits and the right to sue via the Old French suer from the same sequere. The lack of any real follow-up ends with a logical fallacy, a non sequitur, “It does not follow.”

Teddy Bears et al

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Let’s talk eponyms today from epi, “upon” and onyma, “name”  —  words derived from the names of people. It happened to President Theodore (Teddy) Roosevelt while on a hunting trip to Mississippi. Members of his party stunned a bear, tied it to a tree, and encouraged T.R. to shoot it. The President refused. A cartoonist for the Washington Post depicted the event, and the story caught the fancy of the nation. The rest is history. A  Brooklyn candy store owner, Morris Michtom, fashioned a  teddy bear out of brown plush in 1902, the first of over 60 million cuddly creatures to bear his name.

Less clear cut is case of a delicious log-shaped bar made of chocolate-covered caramel and peanuts. The founder of the Curtis Candy Company named it  Babe Ruth in 1921 after President Cleveland’s daughter Ruth. But Cleveland hadn’t been president for nearly a quarter of a century, and his daughter had been dead for seventeen years. It was a blatant attempt by Curtis to avoid having to pay royalties to the Yankee slugger who was at the height of his popularity — a claim they still deny. The evidence, however, shows it, like the candy bar, to be quite nutty.

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Temptation

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Many tempting ideas present themselves to us daily. What makes them so enticing is the burning desire they create from titionis, “firebrand,” from intitiare, “to set on fire.”  They titillate  us from   titillare, “to tickle.” When we finally make an attempt at them, we do so from the Latin ad,  “to” or “towards” and temptare,” “to try,”  “feel out,” or “test.”

A classic case from Greek mythology of one  tempting fate is the story of  the King of Lydia. Befriended by the Gods, he betrayed them, stealing their nectar and ambrosia and testing their divinity, serving them the flesh of his own son. For his deeds he was doomed to stand forever thirsty and hungry in a pool of water up to his chin. Whenever he bent to drink, the water would recede. His efforts to reach toward fruit hanging from a bough directly above, caused the wind to carry the branch away from him. His name was Tantalus, and his name would forever be linked to “provoking desire and creating expectations without fulfillment.” That’s what makes things out of our reach so tantalizing. You and I are clearly above it all, being as one with Oscar Wilde who could “…resist everything except for temptation

Game Shows

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Who wants to be a millionaire? Your path to fame and fortune begins with the Latin via, “road.” — the first step via, “by way of” that special 800 number. Soon you come to a critical juncture, what the Romans called a trivium, from tri, “three,” + via, — creating the intersection of three roads where one and all gathered to share the latest gossip. The very mastery of such trivia allows you to continue.

Fortunately, you are already familiar with certain aspects of your trek from obvium, “that which you previously had met on the way,” from ob, “against,” + via, making your choices obvious. Removing them from your path, simply obviates them. However, the obstacles in your way become more and more devious, from deviare, taking you down another road, de, “away  from” your itinerary. Never once deviating from your goal, you are soon laughing all the way to the bank. The glitzy pianist, Liberace, coined that phrase back in 1954 in response to scathing reviews of his sold-out performances. His original statement had him ironically “crying,” not “laughing.” But when it comes to money, laughing is the American way, and knowledge is trivial.

Dogging It

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Time to step out and party a bit, an occasion to put on the dog — affect some  sophistication and urbanity.

It all began back in the 11th century with King Boleslaus II of Poland who began the tradition during a war with Russia.

Concerned about the increasing incidence of infidelity on the home front and its impact on troop morale, he legislated that children born of such trysts be taken to the woods to die and the offending women be obligated to nurse puppies in their stead. They were also required to take these dogs wherever they went, resulting in their appearing publicly with them on their lap.

The practice, however, proved so commonplace and ultimately so popular, that it also became fashionable, giving birth to the concept of the lap dog.

Lapdogs were the rage in America after the Civil War, especially King Charles and Blenheim spaniels, imperious looking dogs very distant from the mutts most people knew.

Seeing these snooty dogs pampered by their pretentious owners inspired the charge of  putting on the dog which began as college slang at Yale in the 1860s and has been hounding  us ever since.